You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
