how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
