i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
