...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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