I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Never joke about your clitoris.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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