Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
