I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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