dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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