She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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