dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
