I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
