ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
