you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
