It's Friday. Sex?
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
