She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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