Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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