Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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