he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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