Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize