Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
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Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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