I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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