One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
