i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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