just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
