last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
she peed on how many people?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
