I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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