Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
There r osticjed everywhere
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
