I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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