Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
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