Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
