Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
