so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
