I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
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I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
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I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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