Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
