youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
