I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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