So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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