Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Randomize
