i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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