69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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