And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
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entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
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You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?