We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
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he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
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Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.