Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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