Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
