Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
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I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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