MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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