3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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