Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
