and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
