My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
