i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
