You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
where am i from again
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
