Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
