i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
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did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
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Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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