So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
love makes seman taste better
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
