There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
